Day 33

Dear California,

Please don't rain on me. I want to enjoy your beautiful beaches and warm sunshine. I'll see you soon!

From,

Ashley

Day 30

Dear Kingston,

Six months and one day ago I held you in my arms and watched you pass away. The heartache I felt as you slipped from your mortal body was indeed great. Throughout the remainder of the day, I watched as loved ones gathered around you. Although most of them had tears in their eyes, they were smiling to be in your presence. To hold something so tiny and precious is not something we will soon forget.

Today, we remembered you. We are sending love to you in heaven. Happy six month birthday little King! Keep watch over us, okay?

Love you always,

Mom

Day 29

Dear Scarlet,

Oh my word! How is it that six months have come and gone so fast? I cannot believe you, little Princess Penelope, are six months old today. I'm speechless. You now weigh in at a whopping 11 pounds 14 ounces (0th percentile). You are now 24 inches long (up 7-1/2 inches since birth, and I think 4th percentile). In the last month, we decided to see how you liked your first solid food. You hated it. In fact, you still hate it. You will drink it in your bottle, but you will not eat it from a spoon. We'll get there eventually. We took you out to eat and you got to sit in your very first big girl high chair! Obviously you were a bit too small for it, but we pretended it worked. We just stuck blankets and coats behind you to help you stay upright.

You have discovered your feet this month. It's so cute watching you grab them and try to eat them. When you grab your feet, you end up rolling from side to side. It won't be long before your rolling from your back to your tummy. However, this week you did roll from your tummy to back! Your daddy was sleeping and I was screaming from the other room in excitement. When he woke up, he asked me what I was screaming about. You showed him too. You are so awesome.

You love to stand up! You want to be standing up all the time lately. I have discovered that you can hold onto the coffee table/ottoman thing and hold yourself up. It's so cute. Your little head barely pokes up over the edge. You just are so small and to see you standing up is really adorable.

Scarlet, you bring me never-ending joy. I am so blessed to be your mom. Thank you so much for being in my life. One of my favorite parts of the day is when I get to hold you at night and rock you to sleep. I love looking at your little tiny features and thinking about how perfectly shaped your lips and nose are. I just think you are the cutest baby ever.

Happy half birthday little Scarlet! I love you to pieces and pieces.

Loves,

Mom

Day 28

Dear Yesterday,

February 9, 2010.... "There's one... and there's two!" A year ago from yesterday was the day we found out we were expecting twins. That was such a magical moment. I remember lying on the exam table, holding Ryan's hand, and crying. I could do nothing to stop the flow of tears as I was overcome with such joy. Then the doctor turned the sound on and at that moment, everything was real. Two beating hearts. I heard it. Woosh, woosh, woosh, woosh. I miss it. A lot.

I spent many hours listening to those heartbeats, especially in the last month of pregnancy. There was a night when I was admitted to the hospital when I let the sound of Kingston's beating heart lull me to sleep. I never wanted it to end, but the reality of the situation was just the opposite. It would end sooner than I wanted. Reality bites.

I would love to be able to rewind life and re-live this moment over and over again. Things were perfect then. Life was fabulous. It would only be three short months from that time until we found out we would not get to bring both babies home from the hospital.

Yesterday, you will always be a significant day in my life. A day of great joy and celebration. Thank you for existing.

Love,

Ashley

Day 27

Dear Secretary,

You ruined my day today. Your bad attitude and rude demeanor put me in a very bad mood. I can't even believe how rude you were to me while I had a screaming child that I needed to get home. I'm so sorry that me paying my bill and trying to be responsible really put you out. I know it is really hard for you to get off your big butt and walk the 5 feet to the credit card machine and run my card for my bill. You should really reconsider how you treat people. Maybe you were just having a bad day? What can I do for you to make it better?

Please, for the love of God, change your attitude!!!

Sincerely,

Disappointed

p.s. You are the reason I never want to step foot in that office and have been for the last three years. Thankfully I really like the doctors there or we would have gone somewhere else by now. You are a horrible person. Thanks for making my day miserable.

Day 26

Dear Kingston,

Today, I went and picked out some beautiful blue flowers for you for Valentine's Day. These are the flowers I wanted on your casket. We had daisies, just not as beautiful and cheerful as these. I love having them in our house. They are such a beautiful reminder of somebody so precious. I am so grateful you are my son. Kingston, I miss you terribly. There's not a day that goes by that I'm not thinking about you. I wish so badly that I could just hold you once more. You were so perfect in my eyes. Every time I walk into the kitchen and look at these flowers and smell them from across the room, I will think of you and wish you were here with me.

Love you forever and ever,

Mom

Day 25

Dear Bunco Group,

I absolutely love you girls! You make me so happy. I always enjoy talking to all of you about yours lives, kids, husbands, problems, etc. You are an amazing group of women. When I leave Utah in a few short months, I will definitely miss you guys. I'm not kidding about being on a webcam for bunco. I love you guys that much. Thanks for letting Scarlet come with me tonight. She loved it! She passed out on the way home because she had had way too much fun partying it up with the girls.

Love,

Ash

Day 22

Dear Scarlet,

I'm so proud of you! You were such a brave girl today. I took you to the mall and Taya helped us pick out the perfect little earings for you. They are stars with little diamonds in the center. They're really super cute. You kind of freaked out a little when I had to hold your head still so the girls could pierce your ears. They were very fast and before I knew it, it was all over. I picked out a sucker for you and gave you a taste. You loved it! You would smile every time the sucker would touch your tongue. You're so cute! I just love you to pieces. I hope you like your new earings.

Loves,

Mom

Day 21

Dear Autumn,

Thanks for showing me this awesome project. I have been working on it tonight and I've been loving it. I'm so excited to have a bunch of homemade washcloths!! Thanks for the fun idea! I will now go work on it while I watch my DVR'd episodes of American Idol.

Thanks,

Ashley

Day 20

Dear Todd,

Working out has its consequences.

Love,

Tiffany

p.s. Sorry you hurt your foot. No more church basketball for you.

Day 19

Dear Asians,

I really love the way you do my pedicure. I'm so glad you took extra time to really massage my calves today. It was heavenly! Thanks for letting me and Molly sit in your salon and talk for a couple of hours (or almost 3 hours). You also did a really cute flower on my toes. Love it!! It will be extra cute in California in a couple of weeks.

From,

Ashley

Day 18

Dear Monday,

You're not really my friend. Thanks for trying though.

Sincerely,

Me

p.s. Why isn't Scarlet sleeping through the night anymore? Little stinker.